floral print journal notebook with off-white ballpoint pen on top

“I’m literally sitting on a massive pile of laundry, with two more heaps shoved off camera,” I admitted as I logged into the Zoom call.

(Side note: If that doesn’t scream joyful, brave and awesome, frankly I don’t know what does.)

Fortunately, I was meeting with another mom who totally, completely gets it! Even better? She was there in that Zoom to help me create a routine that better suits my life.

Jennifer Hendricks-Fogg is an author, speaker and coach focused on using her experiences as a medical mom to help others navigate their own journeys.

I had the privilege of first meeting Jennifer a few years ago on a retreat. Since then, she’s become a great resource as I wrote and promoted my book. I’ve also started working with Jennifer as an empowerment coach, which is what our aforementioned Zoom call was for.

In our introductory call, Jennifer and I discussed what I felt I most needed to work on during our first month together. I mentioned that I tend to find myself in a cycle. I know I have to complete normal housekeeping and parenting tasks, as well as the additional responsibilities associated with JB’s disabilities, and I become so overwhelmed by the amount of to-do’s, that I cannot function. Then I feel so guilty about not being “productive”, that I get more overwhelmed, and get even less done.

Since working with Jennifer (and with the help of the additional resources listed below), I’ve been able to create moments in my daily routine to pause and see what I can accomplish in a small, manageable amount of time. If my mind feels too frenetic, I do a “brain dump” and write down everything I’m worried about getting done. Then I organize it into different categories, and focus on one category.

For example, one day I went through my brain dump list and selected all of the tasks that required me to use my computer but did NOT require internet. I focused only on those for 45 minutes, knowing that I also needed a break from doom scrolling and social media. I felt like I had actually accomplished SOMETHING, rather than feeling like an absolute failure for not completing EVERYTHING. 

I know I’ve spoken before on how I struggle with “all or nothing” thinking. Related to this is perspective – I often view each challenge, regardless of size, as a catastrophe. I mentioned this difficulty with Jennifer, as well. We talked about how sometimes people want to say things like “Just focus on the good” or “Think positively”, without acknowledging the very real negatives of some experiences. (I delve deeper into toxic positivity in my book, if this is a topic you are interested in learning more about.) Jennifer and I discussed ways I can hold space for both the good and the bad, without gaslighting myself or feeling guilty for not always feeling grateful. I’ve begun journaling more to create this space.

As a parent of a disabled child, I spend so much time focusing on my child’s progress, whether in his school IEP (individualized educational plan), therapy sessions, or medical appointments. It can be downright exhausting at times, with almost no time to focus on my own growth.

Working with Jennifer has been great because I have someone else who genuinely wants me to succeed, and who has practical, actionable suggestions for how to become that best version of myself.

If you are a caregiver looking for help in reaching your goals, I highly recommend reaching out to empowerment coach Jennifer Hendricks-Fogg. Schedule a complimentary initial consultation and discover how she can tailor a coaching plan that’s perfect for you.

You can learn more by visiting her website at http://www.jenniferhendricksfogg.com or sending an email to hello@jenniferhendricksfogg.com.

Additional resources I swear by when I am overwhelmed

  • – Lauren Lowery: Lauren Lowery is a life coach and business coach specializing in helping special needs moms. She is also the host of the Overcome the Overwhelm (Full disclosure: I was interviewed on a past episode of her podcast.)
  • – KC Davis: KC Davis is the host of the Struggle Care podcast, and the author of the book How to Keep House While Drowning. Both are fantastic resources for those struggling with shame (self-imposed or external) around keeping up with care tasks.
  • – Getting It Done When You’re Depressed by Julie A. Fast and John D. Preston: I’ve talked about this book on the blog before, but I’m going to rave about it again now. As the title suggests, this offers encouragement and practical tips for accomplishing tasks while deep in the fog of depression.

(Author’s note: I did receive free services in exchange for this article. All opinions are my own, however. Bookshop.org affiliate links are used in this post, and I may be compensated when you buy books through my links, at no cost to you.)

Photo credit: Author’s own

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