(Please note: parts of this post – including the image above – were previously published in a different article I wrote for this blog. I’ve reworked the piece in light of recent events.)
Last election season, I found myself unknowingly stuck in the middle of a political rally while running errands. I was able to get home safely, but not before having a pretty bad panic attack in my car.
In recounting the story later to a friend, I said, “I was surrounded by people who do not want my son alive.” She replied, “They don’t look at it like they want him dead. Rather, they do not think they should have to share any of their perceived limited resources to support the programs and services that keep your son alive and thriving. That doesn’t make it right, though. Not at all.”
I’ve thought about this discussion a lot in the past few months. The current administration treats ableism more and more like an unfortunate but necessary reality rather than what it really is – a refusal to share or care. Leaders say they’d love to be able to help out more, but they can’t because of [insert scapegoat here].
What they are really saying is that some people matter more than others: Specifically, healthy people, or people wealthy enough to pay for private services. Ironic, considering this is the same group that calls itself “pro-life” and loves saying “ALL lives matter.”
I’m reminded of a quote from Rent: “You can’t quietly wipe out an entire tent city then watch ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ on TV!”
(I don’t think you need the context for that quote, but if you do, here’s the clip from the movie version. I think we could all use a little Taye Diggs musical interlude right now, even if he does play the villain in that musical.)
Here’s a list of my “You can’t ___, then ____” statements for the people who still believe hatred and division are the right direction for America.
• You can’t push for an end to the Medicaid program that provides my son’s food, medicine, and other essential supplies, then say you pray for my son’s continued health.
• You can’t vote for leaders who cut off funding for rare disease and cancer research, then wear colorful awareness bracelets saying you support people battling those same illnesses.
• You can’t use the R-word in everyday conversation (or laugh when others use it), then claim you respect the dignity of all human life.
• You can’t admire the demagogues who say dying of communicable diseases is preferable to being autistic, then brag about how generous you are to your cousin’s neighbor’s brother who is autistic.
• You can’t support the politicians working to overturn the very legislation and departments that ensure all children have the right to accessible, inclusive education, then share an “inspirational” video on social media about a disabled child being included in school functions.
My family fights every day to make sure my son has the resources and love and support he needs to live his best possible life. We do not need hate-filled rhetoric and rationalizations undercutting what is already an uphill battle.
I understand that my child will face adversity in life, regardless of who our elected officials are.
But when you support policies that deny funds and protections for health, education, human services, etc., you are saying that you do not believe that my medically complex, disabled, neurodivergent child and those like him deserve to live with dignity. It is as simple as that.
Image credit: Composite of photos from Juanmonino/Getty Images Signature and YinYang/Getty Images Signature on Canva.
Recent postsWhen leaders refuse to share or care
